…Here’s the full story via NHI.

This is what the victim usually looks like:

The Victim: Asst. Dean of Yale Graduate School of Arts & Sciences, Robert "Easy Money" Harper-Mangels

…this is what he looks like for poor kids in the ‘ville…

If anyone has been following BikeSnobNYC for the past year or two they most certainly know about his statistical invention known as the “Pista Index.” Briefly, it provides a whole number measuring price in dollars of the most recent Bianchi Pista offerings on Craigslist. The index is then used to correlate the current urban fixed-gear trend in that particular city.

Well, if this CL post is any indication, the fixed-gear trend has recently been inflated beyond reason in Naugatuck. The seller is offering his “sick fixie” for dirt-cheap: only $1200. Check it out:

I have a bianchi Pista with thomson stem, Flat handlebars, lime green oddessy pedals, san marco saddle, limegreen deep V velocety wheels, and gator skin tires this build would be sold for 1400 in a bike shop and take years to build for the average cyclist it has a 2.3 gear ratio and is super fast i love it but must part with it

That’s right he’s going to save you time and money and you’re going to have a “super fast” bike with a 2.3 gear ratio. I’m confused, is there a Ford Mustang engine in this thing?

At this point, if you’re like me,  you’re probably wondering why he’s offering us all such a bargain. Well, it turns out there was a certain country fair last month in Humboldt requiring a particular colored wheel.

Rooster McClintock? No way!

My guess is that this CL seller spend the better part of the last two years building this bike in anticipation of the event. (By “building this bike”  I mean stripping the factory wheels and bars off and replacing them). And now, with the Green Wheels Gala all but forgotten in a haze of ganja smoke and chicken parts, he’s ready to move on to other epic builds.

So, I  was just about to pull the plug on this blog. (Not to worry, my new blog explaining why I almost stopped blogging will be up soon with a Twitter account synched to my Facebook status updates and Google Latitude). Before I decided to kill this one, I thought I’d check my BikeNewHaven e-mail account one last time. It was cluttered with bike shit as expected, and looked like it would take hours to sift through, but at the top was a glimmer of hope. A turd blossom, if you will. There at the top of the inbox was, to my surprise, a message indicating that someone had left a comment on my “about” page the day before.

Since I hadn’t posted in months, and since I didn’t know anyone by the name that was left, I thought this was a bit strange. Even more odd, I wondered what had driven me to check this e-mail account after months of neglect. Was it a supernatural phenomenon drawing me to that particular in-box? A case of e-ESP? Was it just another bot stopping by to say, “nice$@blog*# checfdk out these sites:”.

These questions and many more took up the better part of 10 seconds this morning as I decided whether or not to open the ominous e-mail.  I put on my safety goggles and a fresh pair of latex gloves and clicked the link, only to find a bizarre tale of cycling misadventures, complete with a paranormal encounter with a famous historical figure. I’m sure you’re all dying to hear, so without further explanation, I give to you, “The Very Strange Tale of Scott Leventhal,”

This morning, 10:30 Memorial Day, started my ride from Orange Street near Nikita’s Market. Doing everything I’m suppose to be doing, traveling in the Bike Lane (which is a fucking joke) towards East Rock when I got T-Boned by a Minivan coming from the other side of Lawerence (where it intersects with Orange). I woke-up on Lawrence Street with my bike about 15 feet further down the road and my glasses in pieces still up on Orange. A witness/ jogger stopped and asked me if I was OK so, after I rolled over and spit out some blood I told her I thought I would be able to get-up and get out of the road. She turns to me and says “well the driver stopped, wasn’t that good of him.” Are you fucking kidding me? Am I really suppose to be appreciative that the shit head who blew through the stop sign and flashing red stop signal therein almost killing me was good enough to stop? WTF, do people out there really hate bicyclists that much where it’s now considered merely politeness that they pull over to see if we’re still breathing rather than just go about their own business? Turns out the guy who hit me was an Alien (don’t know yet if he was an illegal) with an (I shit you not) ID listing him as Abraham Lincoln. I was en-route to the Hospital before I could learn the final outcome of the police investigation but the police officer stuck a business card and case number into my hand before I left the scene. Un-Fucking believable, of all the Yale Grads in Town this weekend for graduation I have to and get hit by the namesake of the 16th President on Memorial Day who likely has no insurance (but likely a valid New Haven Alien ID).

Thanks Scott, the only thing I would add is God Bless America. You’ve got everything else though, a good intro, an interesting hook, introduction of conflict, and then just when the reader thinks he knows where it’s going, BAM! Abraham Lincoln comes to the party.

In all seriousness, Scott, if you’re reading, I hope you got to the graduation ceremony and are now back home resting.

We’re lucky enough to have the law firm of Jonathan Mills located here in New Haven. They’re good at representing cyclists in these situations. If you haven’t already, give them a call.

BTW, I’m assuming you’re from out of town for these three reasons:

1. You called Nica’s Market Nikita’s.
2. You actually used the bike lane on Orange Street.
3. You used the phrases “Un-Fucking believable” and “I shit you not.”

Nikkita’s. Okay, that’s an honest mistake. No harm, no foul.

Orange Street bike lane – not okay, but also an honest mistake. You, like countless others, assumed that bike lane means “safe for cyclists to travel here” (—–>).  That’s a logical assumption. Unfortunately, the Orange Street lane was installed as part of the bike lane pilot program several years ago. The planners, in their naivete, thought Orange Street would be perfect since it’s a good mix of residential and commercial, well-traveled but not too busy, and quite scenic.

It is all these things and more: it’s too narrow! In fact, by today’s standards Orange Street would never be considered for a bike lane. I’m sorry you learned this the hard way, Scott. For everyone else: the safest place to be is in the street!

The last point still had me confused though, and once again reaching for paranormal explanations. Your choice of words in the story signaled to me that you are a foreigner of some sort, though I couldn’t quite figure out from where at first. I researched some of the language you used and according to this webpage, you may be a time traveler from the 1990s. This would also explain your astonishment with our treatment of alien residents.

I’m sorry to blow your cover, Scott, but I think it maybe necessary to save humanity. Clearly you have come here to learn, and we have much to teach you in 2009.

There will be a man from Texas, the son of a bad man, as prophesied by Flava Flav in “Son of a Bush,” who will come to power and say some of the most hilarious phrases ever uttered by a world leader. (If you don’t believe me watch this video hosted by a time-eradication device we invented named, YouTube). The rest of the World will then laugh at how stupid we’ve become and as a result stop purchasing American made cars, leading to the second Great Depression. This is why grammar is so important, Scott!

Also, sometime in the early 2000s, we will grant immunity to our least fluent citizens and name them after our country’s forefathers in honor of our inarticulate 43rd President. This fills at least one gap in your story.

What about the perp, you ask? Well, I was able to track down the whereabouts of that maniacal minivan driver. It seems he has already repatriated and in a twist of irony has set up his own driving school just to mock us from afar.

I know this is a lot to take in right now, but to put it in the parlance of your time; “It’s All Good!”

Hey, remember that cop the summer before last who tackled a critical mass rider for apparently no reason? Well, he finally lost his job. It seems, internal affairs had a backlog of cases involving officers violently spearing innocent civilians, so it took a while to decide what to do with this one.

From Planetsave:

The Manhattan District Attorney said that the YouTube video footage along with witness accounts clearly contradicted Pogan’s claim that the cyclist was “obstructing government administration” and resisting arrest. The cyclist had charges dropped soon after the video became available.

Pogan was a rookie officer and he has still not given a legitimate explanation as to why he tackled the cyclist. We have learned that he was an offensive lineman on his high school football team — perhaps that could explain a bit?

Losing his job is good punishment, but I think it would be nice if they let the victim gain a little retribution. Here’s my idea: let’s dress the cop up like a circus clown, parade him through Times Square on one of these, and then have the victim tackle him when he least expects it. Oh yeah, and then spread it around the web via YouTube. That would be justice.

Just incase you think I’m being a little harsh, let’s watch the Asshole on Duty again:

Everyone can stop worrying. I’m reporting that HK Fixed has reported that Cycling News uncovered police reports that Lance Armstrong’s Time Trial bike has been recovered. I’m only working on a couple sources right now so I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think it’s safe to say whoever was responsible for the theft is an idiot.

Cycling News:

From rumors heard over race radio, the thieves apparently had no idea what they actually had and were trying to obtain a surprisingly small amount of money for it on the street.

That’s a shot from the aftermath of the Coffee-themed Alley Cat race held over the weekend. The race turned out about 35 riders some traveling from as far away as Providence, Boston and New York. Don’t they have coffee shops in those towns? The Scorchers blog has full race results as well as some great photos from Saturday courtesy of Caroline Treadwell.

A Providence Rider lost his Nike sponsorship after this photo surfaced.

On a personal note, it was my return to cycling, although I didn’t get as much attention as Lance Armstrong got at the Tour of Australia. I wonder why? Is it because he’s jealous? Probably.

Saturday was my first time on a bike in over two months since coming down with Mononucleosis late last year. It was also the first time in a while that I heard, “Are you fuckin’ crazy!” screamed at me by a angry woman in an SUV. It was at that point, on the really cramped part of Chapel Street near Wooster Square, as I passed a city bus on the left, ducked under his mirror, and swerved in front of said driver’s SUV (with grace and confidence I might add), that I realized how much I missed Alley Cat racing.

The race also featured a Coach Bus impeding my travel lane to make a right hand turn onto Olive Street, presumably to showcase our industrial architecture to out-of-towners. I didn’t mind that so much. My motto has always been, “If you’re going to kill me, do it in front of the tourists.”

A few minor flubs aside, the race was a great success for two first time organizers. Thanks Danny and Nick, folks from far away, and everyone else who helped out including sponsors and check point people.

Sure, illegal races through the streets of New Haven can be fun, but…

…..have you ever tried it on Coffee. If you want to find out what that’s like come out next Saturday, February 7th. There’s a bunch of local sponsors including BRU (formerly Koffee on Orange St.) who will hosting the after-party. All those sponsors will be giving away prizes too, so though the race as always will be fun, it might pay off to be competitive.

Everything else you need to know is on that nicely designed flyer, (except who nicely designed it)!! Thanks to Nick and Danny for putting this together, and to Demo for the flyer.

Say what you want about his anti-Semitic, racist, and xenophobic tendencies, but don’t dare question his passion for complete streets.

 

From the NHI Crime Log:

A shooting victim showed up on his bicycle to the St. Raphael’s hospital at 9:45 p.m. Thursday, according to police spokesman Officer Joe Avery. He was suffering from a non-life threatening gunshot wound to his left leg.

A few hours earlier, police responded to a report of gunshots at 5 p.m. at Shepard and Read Streets. Cops found bullet shell casings there, but no victims.

The victim told police he was afraid to go to the hospital.

Cops later identified him as a 26-year-old man with an outstanding warrant on a firearms charge, Avery said. The warrant carried a $75,000 bond.

BikePortland Managing Editor Elly Blue is on a swing through the East Coast. She’ll post regular dispatches from the road about the people she meets and the transportation and bike-related topics she learns about.

That’s from BikePortland.org where Blue’s brief reports have been surfacing every few days since before the holiday under Elly’s East Coast Tour. She’s back where she grew up in Hamden, and this time she’s brought with her a Brompton, plus all she’s learned from living in the progressive bicycling Mecca of Portland.

Blue’s posts give us folks here in New Haven a chance to hear from someone who truly understands what bicycle-friendly design means, given that she’s from a city where it’s increasingly been a priority focus for transportation policy over the last decade.

Recent events seem to suggest that the tide is turning here in New Haven as well. Her latest “Dispatch From New Haven”covers the Complete Streets initiative enacted a few months ago. Although, the law is more of a broad swipe at transportation obstacles, it is still a big step in the right direction for New Haven, and in turn for other communities, as it will provide a platform to launch bicycle and pedestrian projects in the future. As Blue mentions, New Haven is one of only a few communities in the country to enact such a law.

Speaking of progressive initiatives, the Farmington Canal Trail project is moving steadily toward completion on the New Haven portion. The bridge on Hillhouse Avenue was recently reopened after over a year. It was one of three bridges being rebuilt to accommodate the path near the current start of the New Haven to Northampton trail. Eventually the beginning of the trail will move further south toward Union Station and possibly Long Wharf. The date of completion for that phase is yet to be determined.

The final section of the New Haven portion running north toward Hamden is set to be completed in the Spring. This will allow 12 miles of uninterrupted riding (or walking) from downtown to Cornwall Avenue in Cheshire.

Hopefully, this will open up some real transportation and recreation alternatives to communities that reside along the trail. In the coming years, if the completion of this project proves to have made dramatic increases in the number of riders (and walkers) it will set a precedent for other communities to follow and possibly create a new way of linking our cities with the outlying suburbs. 

In other good news, the city announced that it would begin work in the Spring on the re-paving of Whitney Avenue from Canner Street to Trumbull. This is a project that was put on hold for over a year pending completion of the Ferry Street Bridge re-build. Apparently, the city can’t do two things at once.

The repaving of Whitney will finally give the Torosaurus the respect he so rightly deserves and bring relief to hundreds of cyclists who avoid that stretch of road because it is in such bad condition, particularly the right hand portion of the road, where slow vehicles like bikes are expected to travel. To the commuters who live on Whitney and have no other route alternative, this will prove to be a life changing experience for them. It means they will no longer have to ride 29ers and full suspension just to get to work.