I get it.
You want to change your transportation habits to save the planet, but you don’t want to look poor riding a regular bike, or taking the bus.
Don’t worry. The State of CT is now offering free money to anyone willing to get rid of their old gas-guzzler and buy a new electric vehicle, or e-bike!
Actually, you don’t have to get rid of your old car or bike. That would be wasteful. You can keep driving that old shitcan if you want. Owning several cars doesn’t matter. What really matters is that we keep buying new stuff. It’s the only way to stop global boiling.
But, if people want to buy electric vehicles, what’s stopping them? Why does the state have to give them a financial boost? Why not give poor people money to buy a car, any type of car?
Scientists believe poor people’s spending habits are contributing to rising temperatures
Here’s why:
Most economists agree that if consumer demand for a product is great enough, adding purchasing incentives will only make it greater. That’s how this program came about. So many people went out and bought electric vehicles that the State had to jump in and start bribing people to buy electric vehicles.
So all this free money to buy stuff actually makes sense. When the government really wants you to buy a certain product they give you free money.
But how do you get that free money?
Get in line.
And wait….
Keep waiting…
See, the new rebate program here is funded by the CHEAPR program (Connecticut Hydrogen and Electric Automobile Purchase Rebate). It may not make sense right away, but it’s actually cheaper to buy new electric stuff than to use the stuff you already have that still totally works.
That’s because all that old stuff was produced by enslaved ‘cave-persons’ who were made to extract the bones and blood of our reptilian ancestors. While this was really cool technology, it was not “sustainable”. In contrast, electric vehicles use lithium batteries, plus lots of plastic, rubber, steel, etc. All that stuff is sustainable because it doesn’t come from dinosaurs.
Among other benefits, lithium mine workers are allowed to swim in these pools during breaks.
Air-heads
The CHEAPR program is funded with ‘Clean Air Act’ fees. So, whenever someone purchases a new gas-powered vehicle (toxic waste factory), or renews their registration (repeat sinner), they are actually making it easier for people to buy electric vehicles. Of course, since Governor Ned Lamont just announced buying new gas-powered vehicles will be phased out beginning in 2027, the state won’t need to bribe people to buy electric vehicles by then. Buyers won’t have any other choice!
It’s important to note here how much Lamont, and New Haven Mayor Justin Elicker love airplanes. According to them, these new e-vehicle initiatives will help reduce carbon emissions caused by burning fossil fuels. But planes don’t matter so much. Planes run on pixie farts. That’s why these two really smart Yale graduates can be found celebrating whenever Tweed-New Haven Airport announces more flights. They’ll even say that more planes are a sign of good economic times.
So, let’s say you’re a waiter working at one of those fancy restaurants downtown where guys like Ned Lamont dine. Driving to work in New Haven is bad. You should get an electric vehicle. But, flying out of the state to spend money in Florida is good for the local economy. Check, please!
What’s a carbon emission?
Running on Empty
What about people who already ride a bike?
Bad news. Your current bicycle is probably emitting carbon as you read this. At the very least, the bike chain is lubricated with a fossil fuel derivative. The entire bike should be scrapped just to be safe.
But, that’s OK. You can get money from the state to buy an e-bike!
The CHEAPR program also includes the Connecticut Electric Bicycle Incentive Program (CEBIP).
Now you can tell people, “I ride a bike” and you’re actually just sitting down, not pedaling, sucking more energy out of the grid.
Not so fast, Captain Planet. It looks like CHEAPR has been getting rather stingy lately. Well, it’s hard to say when it happened since the program only lasted 10 days…
Too many would-be climate justice warriors signed up and the state quickly blew through the $12 million they had allocated. I mean, when you’re tackling something serious like the climate apocalypse, you usually collect whatever loose change you have lying around the house and hope for the best.
Apparently the two purchasing-incentive programs (car and bike) are competing for the same pot of money. The state hands out about $10,000 to buy a new e-car and $1,000 for a new e-bike. Free money to save the world. 10x more free money if you buy a car!
And…. the money’s gone!
The Connecticut Department of Energy and Environmental Protection began accepting voucher applications on June 28 and closed the application window on July 8. DEEP did not respond immediately Thursday morning to a CT Insider query on how many voucher applications were submitted by potential e-bike buyers in the first round, and any timeline in mind for another window for vouchers this summer or beyond.
Climate-friendly technology!
Double-Edged Battery Fire
Though these incentive programs are definitely saving us all from our idiotic, self-destructive habits, they’re also messing with staff at local bike shops who probably wish people would just go back to pedaling bicycles.
“Many customers who come in aren’t aware of which brands we sell — they’re not sure which brands might be on the approved bike list, but they want to see the options so they have a greater understanding so that when they do receive their voucher, they’ll be able to make a more-informed purchase,” Ledovsky said. “We’ve been able to get some people out on test rides to show them the different options in the store.”
They don’t know anything about e-bikes, but they’re certain they want ’em!
Some participants in the program are worried that their applications may not be processed as the work has been outsourced to the Center for Sustainable Energy, who according to their website have only one mission: Decarbonize
“Decarbonize” is a registered trademark of the Center for Sustainable Energy. ‘Bike New Haven’ does not condone the misuse of the word, nor the unlicensed appropriation of the phrase “one mission – decarbonize.” If you want to make jokes about the Center for Sustainable Energy, please leave them in the comments below. Our censors editors will choose the best comments and delete the rest. This is the only way to keep people safe from misinformation.
The Center for Sustainable Energy has other important issues to tackle when they’re not processing e-bike rebates. They are an increasingly influential organization and if they have their way, by 2050, Santa Claus will no longer leave coal in the stockings of misbehaved children since it’s a nasty, dirty, carbon super-spreader. Instead, he will force bad kids to work in an EV factory, subsist on a diet of vegetarian haggis, and commute on a traditional “acoustic” bike, pedaling all the way. Ho, ho, ho, hot planet!
What about poor people? Surely this program must award greater amounts to people who need it most.
Actually, no:
Connecticut created one of the more generous e-bike rebate programs in the country, with $500 vouchers available for e-bikes costing less than $3,000, and an extra $1,000 available based on income qualifications or the economic and environmental profile of specific municipalities or neighborhoods where applicants live.
That allows wealthier people who live in those locales to qualify for the full, $1,500 CHEAPR incentive as the case with electric vehicles, with the goal of reducing the number of polluting engines on Connecticut roadways, regardless of actual financial need. The “voucher-plus” applicants for the $1,500 incentive are first-in-line on a first-come basis, however, followed by those applying for the standard, $500 voucher.
People must submit voucher applications within 15 days of purchase, and assert that they plan to use e-bikes for basic transportation. But the state has no realistic way of enforcing that requirement, leaving open the possibility of people purchasing bikes solely for leisure use.
Emitting less, every day.
Here’s the full article:
https://www.ctinsider.com/business/article/connecticut-ct-ebike-electric-bicycle-bike-18196410.php
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